on stage. tonight.

this is how i can only explain how i feel and what im going thru. this band has saved me a thousand times. this video is extremely poignant and masterfully crafted. this song is eternally my soundtrack. i have bonded with the best people i can meet with this song.

--i know u got a complex, cock it and pull it!

i love the part where the dude cocks the guitar like a gun. haha. as u read this, i am laughing somewhere cos i made u say cock.

first things first. pasko na. can u believe it? like phil collin said.. i can feel it in the air tonight. this year went by quick, and every season, every month, every moment.. i can say i relished and lived to it fullest. thats why im kinda sad this year is ending. but i guess i have to start the last month of the year with an outlook that will only bring me to greater heights. here's to hoping everyone had a good year too, and hoping next year will be better for those who didnt.
i know, we still have a month left, but its the holidays and for me, it goes by fastest, there's too many things packed in those thirty one days, and too many things too look forward too. i guess, the year's end officilly starts at thanksgiving for me. so lets get this blog started.

thanksgiving to me this year just reminded me how lucky i am. how blessed i am. i have a loving family that i can say supports me in all i do, and will always be there for me. malaki ang pamilya ko. and i am proud of them, my brothers, my sister especially, my step sisters andmy neice, my step dad, my mom who i havent seen smile a real smile in a while... and i am so thankful i am seeing it now. i remember having lunches with her, when we can only wish that things fall into its place. it is happening now ma, lets keep the flow steady lang.
they came here to visit me for thanksgiving. hehe. akala nila i was just kidding when i told them about how small alamogordo is. even though the town was really small compared to what were used to, jsut spending time together was enough. we went to white sands, el paso, las cruces, and albuquerque. i missed them so much. all the while i was away, i was telling myself not to miss them, but the very firstt minute they left.. im back to zero again. i have to retrain myself not to be homesick. but i guess its not tha bad, im going home for christmas anway.
parang christmas ung thanksgiving ko. andame ko nakuha gifts. hehe. thanks jab for the ipod. thanks lis for my new favorite sweater. and thanks for everything else. the bag, the shoes, the food. pasko na tlga! but besides the gifts, thanks for coming. i love u guys tlga. -tear! hehe.

i already said im thankful for my friends here. but that again, i am thankful for.

not just my new friends. but the ones i kept in me for all my life. there are things we cant stop from changing, like us gowing old, growing apart, growing up. but i know what we all have.. and for that i am thankful for.. 16 yrs and counting right?

sabe mo, weaknesses are things we have to work around with. we have to accept them. i gues were different with that, its not about accepting for me.. its about not giving up. hehe. linya un from 'what dreams may come'. then i realized, its just what ur doing. ur not giving up on what u love the most. well, who u love the most. its funny how somethings dont work out.. but its funnier how somethings do also. haha. linya naman un from 'sweet home alabama'. god.. i cant ever imagine life without u. and im really thankful for having u in my life. thank u, you.

chris, josh, and i volunteered for the s.t.a.r.s. program with big brothers for america. im excited about that.. im gonna have a little brother to help with his homework. it was just funny how the three of us were all different when were being interviewd to get matched with the kids. we just realized the three of us, we were like the lion, the tin man, and the scare crow. no heart, no brain, no courage. haha. i cant say exactly who doesnt have what.

pasko na everyone...

i wanted to be a writer once. now i cant even start my updates on my blog without starting over at least 6 times. my english professor in my first (and only) year in college said that i have a way with words.i think i have lost that way with words. im having a long term writer's block.

its thanksgiving tomorrow. i'll have to think about what im thankful for. its not that theres few to be thankful for.. i am lucky and blessed to be where i am. and im sure if i back track, everyday that leads to tmro had at least one thing to be thankful for.

i do have one that ive been thankful for eversince i found it. my friends here. they certainly have made my life a lot easier here. and this wasnt all concrete until i heard chris actually using the word 'bestfriend' last night. i found my bestfriend when i was five, i just didnt think i'd have more. and for that i am lucky. and thankful.


tracy, chris, april, laura, and me.

this is how we go cow tipping.. all u need is a bunch of drunk kids bored out of their minds, a keg of beer, and the first drunk of the bunch to get into an inflatable cow suit.



oh, i love weekends with my friends here.

tonight, my friends chris, laura, and tracy made me watch a movie. actually, they made me watch the movie to try and make me cry. THE NOTEBOOK was actually a real good movie. i liked the story a lot. real sappy, tearjerky, and just full of love. [spoiler alert!]too bad, the movie ended with both the lead characters dead, dying in each others arms. and me, not even shedding a tear. chris swore over the grave of his dead cat that it will make me cry. laura said if i wasnt crying by the end of the movie i have no emotions whatsoever.

theyre wrong. i know they were just kidding when they said i was all stone inside.

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'im just worried i wont find the right one" i said.
"u'll find the right one, just dont go looking for it" she said.'

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'it bothers me, just like it bothers u." i said.
"it bothers me, but it doesnt bother me like it bothers u." he said.
"its just weird that theyre together now, i didnt see it coming" i replied.
"its weird for u, so its weird for us too. its like seeing ur cousins kiss"
"i guess, i dont know. it just threw me off"
"u should be with her"
"no, im happy for them, really."
"she liked u a lot, u know?" he asked me.
"i knew that, im not all stone inside u know. u liked her too at one point, huh?" i asked him back.
"and now were sitting here, talking about how shes with somebody else"
"this conversation sucks. lets watch 'the notebook' already"

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